peace of my mind

peace I leave you; my peace I give you… Jn.14:27

Old Year, New Year

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The days are often long but the years, they are too short.  Where a year disappears to is beyond me. I can’t help but be reflective this week each year.  It’s as natural for me to clean out my heart and mind as it is my front closet.

As I sit in a house–half-cleaned up and half-undone, I have to make peace with the myriad of work in progress.  It’s all around me.  The Christmas decorations are boxed up and put away, but there are still dollies and trucks that haven’t found a home.  A monthly stockpile of groceries has been purchased, but in tending to the organizing of food and menus, my laundry bump has gone delinquent.  Little is ever fully ticked off the list of my life.  In part, that’s the season of my life…rapid motion and progress.

Drew is one today.  As I make party dips and mocha punch for our Pathway party, I am giving him extra snuggles and kisses. How else do you tell your son it’s His special day.

The fading year has proven challenging and yet so good as I see how God has worked.  Time after time, I saw His provision for our family: from meeting specific needs to blessing us with things we never even asked for.  He has taught me more about married, vow-fulfilling love than I’ve known to be possible…and I am eager to learn more.  He is showing me what trusting him with my children will continue to look like over the course of their days and how to love them in progress rather than for what I want them to be.  I am learning about discipline and service, how to give myself to others.  I am reminded continually of my lowly estate without Christ and how quickly I want to prop myself up apart from Him.  Yet lowly and contrite is right where I want to be.  Keep me there, Lord!

I have my list of goals and objectives for 2011 set and drawn.  I am looking for wisdom from the Word to spur me on.  Mostly they center around follow-through.  I live too often like the hurried hare running hard sprints with all my gusto, then collapsing from exhaustion.  I guess I see the need for more tortise, more steady in my life.  More consistent, persistent, nutritive living, with planning, maintenance and completion.  While I certainly thrive in process and creativity, I can see how my family will thrive more if I am more consistent and ordered.  It will be a soft start.  I pray to be continually reminded of this all year.  I need to consider the way of the ant and walk therein.

So, off we go, into another trip around the sun.  Lord, teach me to number my days, that I may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12

Cheers to 2011!

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